“If your brother sins against you…” – Matthew 18:15
Our biggest hurts usually come from people we love or thought we could trust—like family members.
How do you respond when another Christian does something offensive or sinful? We’re part of the family of God and all families experience misunderstandings, disagreement, hurt, and sin. The disciples who walked with Jesus could be just as humanly annoying as the rest of us.
Fortunately, Jesus gave us specific instructions on how to handle it.
“Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone,” Jesus says (Matthew 18:15, italics added). The loving thing to do is go personally and deal with it privately.
Sometimes people think, “Wow, this person really blew it and sinned big time. I need to put that on social media (or bring it up at a prayer meeting or “confide” in another church member) so everyone can pray for them!” If we’re honest, we can admit we do this as an excuse to gossip, slander, and get even in some way.
This is not what Jesus taught.
However, you can follow Jesus’ teaching to the letter and still miss the spirit of what He was saying. In my experience, some people think Jesus meant that they need to “lawyer up” and go with a metaphorical briefcase of evidence as to why the offender was wrong in their words or behavior. They present their accusations and back it up with their arguments.
That’s not what Jesus meant!
We go privately to a person to clarify their intentions.
Did they mean what you thought you heard or saw? Maybe you misunderstood; maybe they just communicated something poorly. Find out the details. I’ve had times when I had to say, “I’m sorry….my bad. I totally misunderstood.”
We go hoping to win a brother or sister, not to win an argument. We need to walk in humility and gentleness.
We’re not to go in condemnation.
When we’re stumbled by the behavior or words of another Christian, we honor them by going directly and in private, just as we would want them to do to us.
