“IF HE WILL NOT HEAR, TAKE WITH YOU ONE OR TWO MORE… AND IF HE REFUSES TO HEAR THEM, TELL IT TO THE CHURCH.” —MATTHEW 18:16-17
When we lovingly confront another believer who is sinning, our goal is not to win an argument, but to restore them. But what if they refuse to acknowledge their error and repent?
Jesus tells us that we try again, but this time we’re to go with one or two other people. Three people confronting in gentleness and love can have a potent effect.
But not always.
“You can’t stop me,” the person might respond. “I’m going to continue doing it.”
Now you have a serious problem, because the person claims to be walking with the Lord. This can cause all kinds of confusion in the church, especially among young or immature believers.
When this arises, Jesus instructs us to take the situation to the church. You tell a pastor, elder, or home group leader and bring them into the process.
You’re trying to communicate to the fallen Christian, “Hey, this is serious, and you are the one who is going to be negatively affected by it; you are hurting yourself.”
Surely, confronted with the authority of the entire church, he or she will repent, right?
Not always. But again, Jesus tells us how to respond. “If he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”
And how are we to treat the heathen? And even tax collectors? According to the Scripture, we’re to love them.
Indeed, we don’t have the same relationship with a nonbeliever that we do with a brother or sister in the Lord, but we don’t stop loving them.
We recognize that there is some issue in their heart; that the enemy has deceived them; maybe they are caught up in addiction or something is going on in their lives that we don’t understand…but we love them and pray for them.
There is never a guarantee of repentance, but the wonderful thing about Jesus is that He pursued us while we were yet sinners. He turns His enemies into His friends. And He shows us how to do the same.
